Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts

My children have started singing a crude song from my childhood that’s simultaneously hilarious and repulsive, especially coming out of the mouth of my 5-year-old daughter. I’m trying to figure out whether I should be The Cool Dad and teach them the rest of it – or whether I will rue the day when they sing it in front of my mother because they have no judgment. Because they’re children.

Maybe it’s an educational song because it starts with lots of alliteration. And continues with tongue twisters.

Here goes:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,

Mutilated monkey meat

Dirty baby birdie feet

French-fried eyeballs rolling down a dirty street

And I forgot my spoon

Optional ending 1:

…but I got a straw… (make huge slurping noise)

Optional ending 2:

‘Cause they’ve got (pause) scabs with pus on top.

Vulture vomit and camel snot.

Put it all together and whaddya got?

Breakfast, lunch and dinner at your local Hot Shoppes!


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