No, I’m not moving and I’m sure not expecting twins. But an at-home dad friend of mine has done both, and he’s living to tell the tale of my personal nightmare.
He went from being an artist and antique car collector to being an at-home dad to a little boy, who’s now 3. Then he and his wife pondered a move to Harpers Ferry, West Virginia, so she wouldn’t have to commute to work 75 miles each way from Baltimore. Much as I hated to lose a friend, I supported the move. Then his wife got pregnant with twins, who came last September.
My friend recently got his head above water long enough to send along this poignant e-mail, which he gave me permission to post:
“Life is feeling a little, no… Actually life is crazy right now. I seem to be living on very little sleep. I’ve been accused of being ‘grumpy,’ but actually it’s more like I’m pissed off.
“It is hard. I’m hoping once we get past the first year mark it will be easier. I get depressed once in awhile and seem to be needing /enjoying(?) wine and vodka on a regular basis. I guess I’m learning a lot about myself and not liking some of it.
“So, I learn, I grow, I change. I hope. I wonder why I can’t seem to focus on the good stuff in life more often. I guess it was bad training from my family.
“Yesterday was great. Four friends of mine from Baltimore came out and made a big delicious lunch with presents and drinks to celebrate my B-day which was the 13th. It was so nice to see everybody and talk to other adults!!! They loved seeing the new little ones and [my firstborn], who has grown. Life is good, I must admit, but I do miss doing something creative. I do mow the grass in different directions, whoopy!
“I went crazy and bought a 16-foot-long metal car hauler/ trailer, so I will be able to haul my antique cars here. Just when I’m going to do that, I don’t know, but soon, I hope.
“I have some nasty tennis elbow pain that is really not doing well. It’s making me wince all day. I finally went to an acupuncturist last week for the first time. I need to use my arms all the time to pick up babies and stuff, so it’s quite annoying. I think I’m out of shape. The vodka seems to fix the arm pain but I can’t keep drinking like that.
“So, it goes on and on like that. I don’t want to complain, but that is what it is like at the moment: good, bad, good, bad, good, good, good, real bad, funny, good, bad, good, etc., etc.”
My friend reports he hasn’t found any at-home dads yet. So if anybody knows any in all of West Virginia – northwestern Northern Virginia or Western Maryland, even – let me know, and I’ll get you in touch with my friend.